LET. IT. GO.

“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.” ― Thomas Jefferson

One of the most common things I’ve heard so far from friends inquiring about my travels is how lucky I am to be able to have a chance to do what I am doing. 

It is true--I am. 

However, while I was on the phone with one of my dear friends today, I was quick to point out that there is a WHOLE lot I have given up to do this. For instance, I am missing my Father’s 70th birthday and a family vacation at Pawley’s Island this week. I hate that.

I have no stability in my life at all.  I won't know where I am going next until about 4 weeks before I go.  As soon as I get settled in one place, it will be off to the next place.  I miss those that I love "back home" quite a lot--and often...and pretty soon here, I will be a plane ride away from all of them.  I have to empty my own sewage, take my own trash, I have no permanent mailing address, I can only keep about 3 days of fresh food on hand, and it cost me almost $10.00 dollars every time I do laundry cause the darn dryers won't dry my clothes fully if I don't spread my clothes out into very small groups.

I think it comes down to this: I am sacrificing time with those I love for memories and experiences that will help me love them, myself, and life even more. I know I will “win some” and “lose some” in choosing to do this.  There is no doubt in my mind that, right now, I am where I am supposed to be.

Smallmouth in Roanoke

In the last two weeks, I have enjoyed an incredible weekend down in Roanoke (last weekend) fishing for smallmouth bass. I took a day hike to Natural Bridge while I was in Roanoke. This past Saturday night, good company and good food were on the menu as I ate a steak cooked to pure perfection off the open fire here at the camp ground and followed it with an old fashion s’more. Sunday, I got out to Polo for my third lesson.

Working on the "off side" approach

So I can’t feel all that deprived right now...no matter what I think I’ve given up to do this. 

One point discussed with my friend was how lucky I am NOT to have to give up my job as I travel!  I am still a therapist.  I love that part of me.  It’s the “take something that’s broken and rebuild it” part of me. The “fix it” part of me.  

All too often the “fix it” part of me spills over into the “can’t let it go” part of me. 

The little "picker"

When I was little (and to some degree now), I was a picker.  If my flesh was wounded, something about that scab seemed to get in the way of the healing process.  It was dry, dead skin and it needed to be replaced with good tissue.  So it just felt right to pull it off.  

Ironically enough, what I learned later as I became certified in Wound Care as a PT was that--though my instincts were right (a dry scab does prevent healing to some degree)--nine times out of ten the answer was not to meddle with it and pull it off.  The answer was to soften the scab so the wound bed could rise up from underneath.  

I think I’m learning that the answer for healing in our lives is often just the same.  We don’t need to meddle--it’s simply that we have to change our environment to allow for healing. We must allow our hard, dry situations to soften.  And more often than not, this simply takes time.  Letting the sun go up and go down one more day...and then another...and then another...well, this is not always easy.

My Mother has a friend that she says is very good at “floating” when life requires it.  Floating is not my style (nor my Mother’s).  We are paddlers. We like to direct our own path and hurry up and get there.  

However, the river of life can sometimes take you to a much better place if you float (not paddle). And if you fall out of your boat always follow river rule #1: Keep your toes up and your feet pointed down stream.  NEVER break the most dangerous river rule of trying to stand up when it comes to the river of life.  You have to keep moving or you will surely drown.  

And so... “if you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”  

Well, there is a lot I’ve never done. But for today: Here’s to learning how to float.

Floating...